


Hot Chocolate and Black Coffee

by SweetInsanityWrites (SweetInsanityArts)



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: A sort of what if scenario, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Arnold is wholesome, Awkward Flirting, ChurchTarts mentioned, Coffee, Coffeeshop AU, Dancing, Elder McKinley is on mission but Kevin and Arnold arent, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Naba is excited about everything, and chocolate, chris is a legit wingman in this, falling in love while on mission, lots of McPricely, mentions of self harm, pop tarts is a good friend, some Arnold/Naba, some criticism of the church
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-05 16:31:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18369815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetInsanityArts/pseuds/SweetInsanityWrites
Summary: Coffeeshop AU, Kevin works at a coffeeshop, Connor is on the last weeks of his mission, you know how these things go





	1. hot chocolate and gay panic

**Author's Note:**

> I actually did so much research for this, it's insane
> 
> I'm not saying it's 100% accurate but I did try my best to make it as close to reality as possible.   
> Some things I had to consciously ignore, like the fact that missionaries change companions and districts every couple of weeks, because I really wanted to keep Pop Tarts in this.  
> (Technically, them calling him by a nickname is already breaking the rules from the Missionary Handbook anyway)
> 
> If you do find any inconsistencies, feel free to point them out to me!

Kevin Price didn’t like his job a whole lot. It paid badly, the work times were terrible and customers usually treated him horribly. Like he was responsible for prices being too high or special offers being sold out. 

The only times he did enjoy his time at the coffeeshop was when he got a moment to  _ observe _ . 

 

There was always something to see in the small store and he loved imagining what kind of story the people had as they typed into their macbooks or buried their faces in books. 

Where they broke students studying for a test? 

Travellers writing their first novel?

Runaways looking for a place to make them feel safe?

 

Sometimes he wondered if anyone ever looked at  _ him _ like that, saw him behind the counter with his fake smile and his tired eyes, and wondered how he ended up there.

He wondered how many would guess correctly.

 

Kevin was lost in thought, watching a young woman draw in an old leather-bound sketchbook when the doors swung open and two young men entered a blond and a redhead, rainy cold air following them inside. 

They were dressed in slightly oversized suits with simple black coats, their hair looked like it had been neatly combed before the storm had come out and shiny name tags dangled from their chests.

_ Missionaries _ , Kevin thought, his stomach twisting. He’d seen members of the church around before but they’d always kept a safe distance. 

He hadn’t talked to a Mormon who wasn’t close family ever since the breakdown he had at 17 years old. It had taken his parents a while to forgive him for leaving the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and everything that followed, some of his family stopped talking to him altogether. 

Now he flinched at every suit and tie and avoided anyone on the streets who looked like they wanted to sell something. 

 

Trying his best to smile, he approached the new customers. 

“What can I get you two?” 

The blond man smiled politely, asked for a black coffee and excused himself to the restroom, leaving his companion behind. 

_ Elder McKinley _ , his name tag read.

 

“To be honest, I’ve never actually had any coffee.” The Elder smiled shyly. “Do you have anything … less strong? Or not strong at all?” 

Kevin hated himself for thinking it, but the man was quite handsome, his suit and tie slightly askew, hair sticking to his forehead from the rain. His fake grin turned into a genuine smile. 

“Uhm I can get you a latte with some syrup? Or just a hot chocolate? Tastes much better than that bitter filtered stuff anyway.” 

_ And my phone number _ , he couldnt help but think. What had gotten into him all of the sudden?

 

The redhead nodded thoughtfully. “You’re right, I’ll take a hot chocolate, please. Thought I could be one of the cool guys but guess that won’t happen.” He blushed, the redness clearly visible against his very pale skin. It was adorable.

Kevin arched his brow. “Thought you guys don’t drink caffeinated drinks anyway.” His hands moved quickly over the giant machine behind the counter, practised, robotic movements working on muscle memory. Something was fluttering nervously in his chest. He wasn’t sure if it was the fact that he was painfully aware of how strong and elegant the other man’s hands were or the fact that his shiny name tag seemed to be screaming at him. 

The customer shrugged. “Not forbidden, just advised against. I don’t like the thought of it, I guess. Being dependent on something to function.” 

 

“Probably better this way. My brain doesn’t start functioning ‘til after my 3rd cup.” 

Kevin finished the drinks and hesitated. If he just handed them over and took the money, their interaction would be over. The other man would take his order, join his companion, leave and probably never return again. For some reason, that thought made him sad. Something in him felt drawn to the redhead, a very bothersome but intriguing desire to know more about him. If this was a teen movie with a perfect straight couple, he’d write his number on the receipt and flirt like a pro and probably end up running over an airport at some point. But this was cold, rainy reality and he was a bisexual disaster. 

 

Reluctantly, Kevin held out the plastic cups, his eyes meeting that of the other man as their hands touched briefly. It sent a shudder down his spine. 

“My name is Kevin.” He said dumbly, knowing despite the  _ “Hello, my name is Kevin Price” _ sticker on his uniform. 

“Nice to meet you, Kevin.” The Elder said softly. “I’m Connor.” 

They held eye contact for a few more seconds, before he turned and joined his companion, who was waiting impatiently by the door.

 

Watching the two missionaries leave the shop and disappear into the gray, rainy street made Kevin ache with loneliness. 

_ Connor _ . 

Something told him that name would haunt him for quite some time.

 

***

He was right. It did.

When Kevin got home from work that night, the image of the handsome young man and his dashing smile was burned into his brain. The moment of excitement when their eyes locked. His voice softening when he told him his name. 

It made no sense.

He knew nothing about the guy. They hadn’t even shared more than a few sentences, most of which had been about ordering hot beverages. 

What was it about the redhead that was so intriguing? 

It got even more infuriating when he lay awake in his bed all night, tossing and turning, the few moments in which he did sleep filled with dreams of sinful touches. 

After 4 hours of frustrated battling with sleep, he gave up and moved to his couch with his laptop and a big cup of coffee. 

He could hear his roommate snore in the room next door, which made him even more nervous. Arnold was still in contact with the church, from time to time. 

He probably knew who those missionaries where, how long they were staying, if there was any chance of seeing- 

Kevin shook his head. 

This wasn’t going to make it any better. It had been hard enough to accept he even liked men, the last thing he needed was to fall for someone who’d probably leave the city in a few months anyway. Besides, he knew too well how the church thought about people like him. 

He decided to bury himself in work instead, willing himself to let the stress of essays for his online college distract him from his confusing thoughts. 

By the time Arnold padded into the kitchen/living room, he’d almost forgotten about the encounter. 

“You’re gonna get a heart attack if you keep drinking coffee like water, you know? I’d have to find a new roommate, you know how stressful that is?” He yawned.

Kevin shrugged. “I always assumed you’d just move in with Naba, seeing as you hang out almost constantly anyway. I’m surprised your parents haven’t complained yet.” 

Nabulungi was a beautiful, energetic woman who’d moved to the states with her father a few months ago. She’d remembered the Mormon missionaries from her village and turned to the church for help finding her way around the new country. 

Even though no one had said so out loud, it had been clear they’d assigned Arnold Cunningham to guide her to keep him from further threatening their perfect, shiny reputation with his controversial beliefs. 

The two of them had gotten along surprisingly well, and started dating almost immediately. 

Kevin was happy for his friend and he liked the cheerful African girl a lot, but recently, seeing them together always made him feel a bit lonely and lost. 

“My parents still think I’m teaching her about Christ all day long. I already broke their hearts when I said I wouldn’t go on mission, can’t really get myself to confess bible study is not the only thing I’m doing when I stay the night.” He grinned mischievously, making Kevin chuckle. 

“Have you ever actually  _ done  _ anything sinful?” He set his laptop down and crossed his arms. 

Arnold shrugged. “We do kiss sometimes, that counts, I’m a total rebel!” 

“A dirty sinner, for sure!” Kevin teased and threw a pillow at his friend. 

“You’ll find someone too, I’m sure. You’re awesome!” 

The strange sensation flickered in Kevin’s chest again.

“Well. There was someone. Yesterday.” He said carefully. “These missionaries came into the shop and I briefly talked to one of them and, I don’t know it’s silly. I just felt like… I want to get to know him?” 

Arnold leaned closer, excitement clearly spreading on his face. “A MORMON MISSIONARY??” He yelled loudly, making Kevin flinch.

“Geez, calm down! It’s dumb, forget I said anything. He probably doesn’t even like guys, I’m just imagining things.”

“Well, only one way to find ooouuutt.” His friend sing-songed. “You know I could find him for you.” 

“Forget it, okay, it’s nothing. Sorry I brought it up.” Kevin got up, fleeing the scene as quick as possible. 

Arnold’s excitement only seemed to make his own stronger, the hopefulness in his friend’s voice causing his own imagination to work overtime with cheesy romcom scenarios that were as likely as him getting a pay raise anytime soon. 

He hated how much he enjoyed those daydreams.

All throughout his day at work, every opening door, every passing shadow made his heart jump. It was exhausting. No matter how much he told himself to stop being silly, no matter how many times he imagined putting his feelings in a box and storing them away, his mind kept wandering back to Connor McKinley.

During lunch break, Kevin gave up to the nagging feeling and typed the name into the facebook search bar. 

He remembered from his own education in the church that missionaries weren’t allowed phones but sometimes stayed in touch with possible newcomers via facebook messages. 

He’d no idea if that involved private conversations but he knew now his mind wouldn’t be at ease until he at least tried. 

The right account was easy to find. It wasn’t very active, just a few birthday posts and family photos. 

But there he was. Looking stunning in a well fitted suit on wedding or other family event. Kevin’s heart flutter nervously. His chest felt tight with anxiety and, much to his annoyance, his hands started shaking as he tapped the friend-request button.

He regretted his decision immediately after but there was no going back from this point. 

The slight panic and nervosity stayed with him all day, making him even jumpier than usual, causing him to mess up orders, spill milk and add too much cream to some skinny girls' lattes. 

When he came home that evening, he was exhausted. 

Kevin felt a little guilty for how glad he was to find Arnold’s room empty. 

He curled up on the couch and took out his laptop, opening facebook for the first time since the break.

He felt tense, his hands were shaking and he hated himself for it. 

The red notification bubbles screamed at him. His heart skipped a beat. 

One accepted friend request, one private message.

> _ Hi there, how can I help you? :) _

Kevin swallowed hard, forcing his hands to calm down as he typed. 

How would he even start this conversation?

What excuse was there for contacting random customers based on two seconds of eye contact?

He took a deep breath. Realistically, what was the worst that could happen? 

The guy who decided to live without twitter and Netflix for two years to hand books out to strangers would find  _ him  _ weird? Chances were they’d never meet again anyway. 

> _ Hi! It’s Kevin, the barista from yesterday?  _
> 
> _ I hope its okay for me to contact you like this.  _
> 
> _ Don’t really know why, I just felt the need to stay in contact. Hope you enjoyed your drink,. _

He cringed. at his own words. It sounded more like a marketing ploy than genuine interest.

Groaning at his own incompetence, Kevin shut the laptop closed and decided it was enough internet for the day. He had to get his goddamn mind of this random person. 

Yet, he couldn’t shake the tension that seemed to constantly envelope his body, that irritating feeling of  _ wanting to know _ , though he didn’t know what exactly it was. 

Despite his determination not to obsessively watch his inbox, he found himself casually checking his notifications every 30 minutes or so. 

When he gave the screen one last glance before bed, the red bubble caught his attention, making his heart skip a beat. 

> _ Oh I remember, hello again Kevin! I did enjoy my hot chocolate, thanks for asking. We will be at an event close to your coffeehouse tomorrow, I’ll see if we can drop by ;)  _

Kevin let out a slightly inhuman noise. Winking smileys were about the worst thing anyone could add to a message, they made everything look flirty and suggestive. 

He felt slightly dizzy. 

> _ Okay, great, can’t wait! _

he answered, before burying his head in his pillows, mentally preparing himself for another restless night.


	2. caffeine and conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin is in a constant state of confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am totally pouring all my own real life angst into Kevin Price rn and I'm not even sorry.

Kevin Price was running on caffeine and desperation.

 

As expected, he hadn’t slept much all night, and his day at work was spent being jumpy and nervous. He hated himself for getting this attached to some guy he knew nothing about, and yet he couldn’t help but slightly enjoy the thrill of his sudden crush. 

 

His gay panic paid off the moment the two missionaries walked into the shop, smiling as politely as ever. 

This time, the weather had been kinder and their hair and faces looked like they’d walked off a movie set. They might as well have burst into song any second. 

 

The blond, Elder Thomas, the name tag said, waved and went directly to a remote table by the window, pointedly staring out the window. 

“Your companion doesn’t seem to be a big talker.” Kevin noted, trying his best to make his leaning-over-the-counter look relaxed and cool. 

“Oh he is, he just needs time to warm up to strangers.” Connor smiled fondly. 

“Seems an impractical trait for a missionary to have.”

“That’s different, we have a set dialogue, we know what to say when we teach people about Christ. Smalltalk over coffee is a different thing.” 

 

Kevin glanced around the place. There were very customers out to begin with and it was late in the afternoon, the wave of tired businessmen wouldnt show up for another hour or two. It took that as a sign that this strange flirt was supposed to happen after all. 

He nodded understandingly. “Black coffee and hot chocolate?” 

 

Elder Thomas remained on his seat by the window while Connor sat down by the counter, cradling his cup in his elegant hands. 

 

“Did you want to learn about The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints?” Connor asked, cocking his head to the side. 

“Oh, no thank you.” Kevin shuddered slightly. “I uhm know all I have to know.” He gave his best smile and locked eyes with the other man, this time fully on purpose. “I did want to learn about  _ you  _ though.”

The Elder’s face reddened and he gave a nervous laugh. “Well, I’m not sure I’m as interesting as the son of God but, uhm, sure. What do you wanna know?”

“How long are you gonna be in the city?” 

“It’s my last city, I’ll be going back home in two months.”

 

Kevin felt his stomach drop a little. 

He didn’t know what he’d expected but he didn’t like this answer a lot. It made the whole thing feel even more impossible. 

 

“That’s a shame. But I bet you must miss your home.” 

Connor’s eyes did an interesting thing where they grew all soft and open. “I miss my family, my friends. But it’s been an amazing experience, all the people I met, the stories I got to hear and got to tell. Lives I could change. Having a purpose … I just don’t know what I’ll do with my life once I get back.” 

“I know what that feels like.” Kevin said softly. “But I’m sure you’ll find your way.”

_ You could always come back here. _

“Did you find yours?” Connor leaned in closer, making Kevin painfully aware of the warmth radiating from the other man’s body, the faint smell of cologne, the the perfect curve of his lips. He hated how easily he fell for him.

“I’m working on it.” He said hoarsely.

 

“You won’t get into trouble for this? I don’t wanna be a bother…” 

“Oh no, no, don’t worry, I have co-workers who are worse than me, no one really mind what we do long as the customers don’t go on a twitter rant.” Kevin grinned awkwardly. “I hope I’m not getting you into trouble. Making you ditch your Companion like this …” 

The redhead chuckled and shook his head. “Don’t worry, Pop-Tarts was the one who encouraged me to come.” He bit his lip self-consciously, which made Kevin think all sorts of sinful things. “He’s the only one who … he gets me.” 

The way his voice changed was both endearing and intriguing, but it didn’t seem the time or place to ask him to elaborate. 

“Pop-Tarts?” Kevin asked instead. 

“He likes them a lot.” Connor said seriously. “I mean, like, a lot. It’s insane.” 

 

There was something about the Missionary that Kevin couldn’t figure out. He had that strange energy he remembered the men in his church having, that welcoming warmth. Also, an air of authority. Despite of how shy and nervous he was, he never lost his posture and he kept making eye contact. 

Most of all, he had that certain softness Kevin had started to associate with gay men, yet it didn’t seem solid enough evidence to just assume. 

 

“Were you companions from the beginning?” 

“Yeah we were sent to Uganda together, spent most of our Mission there before the District had to be closed.” Connor explained. “We’ve gone through a lot together.”

“Uganda, huh? Sounds like a tough job.” Kevin imagined the overly enthusiastic boys from his own teen years marching through Africa. It was almost endearing.

 

Elder McKinley nodded grimly. “They weren’t interested in the church at all and honestly I can’t blame them. We did manage to turn things around a bit, at least get them some education and collaborate with the Red Cross for the health care, but nobody was baptized so the Mission President called the district a failure and sent us home.” He sighed. “Well, I guess I still learned a lot. Grew as a person. And I know I shouldn’t be saying this while I’m still on my mission but … I don’t know, I just started to think maybe things don’t have to be exactly how we were told they were.”

 

Kevin nodded silently. He knew that feeling. If it hadn’t been for Arnold’s unwavering support and endless patience, he would’ve lost his mind. 

This wasn’t how he’d pictured seeing Connor again.

 

“So what are you gonna do when you get back from your Mission? I mean, what are you looking forward to once you’re allowed to have fun again.”

“Mission can be fun!” He grinned. “But I do have to admit, I can’t wait to get back to bingewatching musicals all night and reading books that don’t mention Jesus.”

Another beautiful blush crept over his freckles. 

 

It took a lot of self control for Kevin not to reach out and cup the other man’s face.

He cringed at his of neediness. It had been a while since he’d had a crush on anyone, really, but he hadn’t expected he’d fall so hard for someone he barely knew. It was deeply irritating. 

 

_ Also. Musicals. Gay gay gay gay gay.  _

 

Elder Pop-Tarts got up from his table and cautiously approached them. 

He gave his companion a warm, apologetic smile. 

“I’m really sorry to disturb you already but we really have to go if we don’t want to get into trouble.” 

Connor sighed and got to his feet. “I’m very sorry, Kevin, duty calls. Just a few more weeks, though!”

The way he said his name made Kevin’s stomach feel fluttery. In a spur of sudden courage, he reached out and gently closed his fingers around the other man’s wrist. His skin was so warm and soft. 

“I want to see you again.” Kevin said quietly. At this point, what was the worst that could happen? 

 

Connor hesitated, biting his bottom lip. 

His companion gave them an amused grin. “Well, we’ll be down the street spreading the word. You can always come by and let us teach you about Christ.” He winked. 

 

***

 

“This is so wrong.” Kevin moaned, running his hands through his hair. “Somebody stop me.”

He’d been staring at his phone for hours now, hoping to see a message pop up on the screen. Just a short little message would be enough. The smallest sign that he hadn’t imagined things, that Elder McKinley was actually interested. 

It had been four days since their short conversation at work. 

After day 4 without Connor responding his messages, Kevin had tried finding him and his companion out on the streets, but so far his search had been fruitless.

 

“You know I could ask about him on sunday. Maybe I’ll even see him. Could tell him you said hi!” Arnold offered. He sat cross legged on the couch, Nabalungi’s head in his lap, his fingers playing with the wild curls. Kevin felt like an angsty teenager asking his parents for advice on his love life. 

“Nooo that’s gonna make me sound so desperate!” 

“But you are desperate.” Naba said matter-of-factly. “What if God brought that Elder into your life for you and now you’re just letting him go because you are too proud?”

Arnold beamed at her, nodding proudly. It seemed that in-between their make-out sessions, they did find time to discuss religion after all. 

 

“You guys are no help at all.” Kevin sighed. 

He needed people to tell him how stupid he was being. That he barely knew the guy. That there was no way a mormon boy who was devoted enough to go on mission would ever admit to like men. That Kevin had no place in that church, that he walked away from the church for a reason and no cute freckles were worth going back for. 

If only he could get it into his brain how pointless his stupid crush was, he could move on.

 

“I’ve never seen you like this, Kev.” His friend’s voice softened. “You liked Mara and you were pretty into Jordan but you’ve never paced up and down a room all day for either of them.”

“And you should see the thing your face does when you talk about that boy.” Nabalungi pointed out. “You look like Arnold when he talks about Star Wars.”

 

Kevin sighed, his eyes fixed at the ceiling. There was a subtle crack running through the white paint, like an inverted bolt of lightning. They’d been meaning to paint over it. Just like they’d wanted to change the damaged lightbulb that had a subtle flicker which drove any guest mad. But ever since Arnold had started dating Naba, it had been difficult enough to find time to even hang out with him. 

Was that what dating was like?

Did he even have the time and energy to spend every waking moment with one person? 

 

„He hasnt responded to my message. I probably creep him out.“

„But you guys had a nice conversation!“

„He’s s missionary, have you ever seen them be rude?“ 

„It’s like you’re not even trying.“

„I’m trying not to try!“ 

 

Kevin got to his feet with an exasperated grumble. His head felt crowded and loud. 

He grabbed his keys and jacket, mumbled a goodbye and fled through the door.

 

The air outside was surprisingly warm, only the chilly wind reminded him it wasnt qute spring yet. 

He put in his headphones, volume turned up until the bustling noise of the city was blurred out, and he just walked aimlessly. 

 

Shop windows and neon lights flew by him, people scuttled down the streets, faces fixed on the ground, greenpeace people chased after them waving their pamphlets.

The air smelled of coffee, freshly baked pretzels and some woman’s perfume. 

His favourite Showtunes screamed into his ears.

 

Somewhere in-between songs, Kevin heard a voice. 

He stopped in his tracks, staring.

His feet had carried him all the way to the park entrance, where an elegant gate invited people to relax in the quiet green space.

Right in front of that entrance was a small table covered in blue books and two young men enthusiastically smiling at passerbys. 

 

Elder Pop-Tarts/Thomas saw him first, greeting him with a wink. 

Elder McKinley was in conversation with an elderly woman, his back turned to them.

Kevin felt his heart speed up, his hands suddenly shaking.

There was no going back now. 

 

„Do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ?“ Elder Pop-Tarts grinned.

„Hi…“ Kevin said breathlessly. „Heard about the guy, chill dude.“

„Well, that’s more than we get from most people here.“ The Elder shrugged. Even while in conversation with someone, the passing people shot him glances full of anger or disgust. Some of them walked big loops around them while staring at the ground. 

 

„Not a lot of placements, huh?“ Kevin felt a slight quiver of pity for the men. He could imagine better ways to spend two years than having people hiss at you and slam doors into your face. 

„Few.“ The man said thoughtfully. „Its funny. In Uganda, people were sick and hungry, it filled them with so much anger, most said that if there was a God, they hate him. Here, people have money and privilege, so they dont need a God to be happy. No one really wants to listen. Very few people let us into their homes since we came to this district and even fewer allowed us to come back.“

 

Kevin couldn’t say he blamed them.

Before he could respond, Elder McKinley ended the conversation with the woman, sending her off with a copy of the Book clutched in her hand. 

He gave a surprised „oh!“ as he turned around. 

 

„Kevin.“ He said softly, the sound of his voice sending a shiver down Kevin‘s spine. 

„Hey Elder.“ 

„I’m sorry for not writing you back, it has been a really busy week, I didn’t forget!“ 

„That’s fine, you guys are doing a lot of important work!“ 

 

Kevin blushed. He didn’t actually know much about what people did on their mission. Arnold had talked about his preparation for a bit but not much had actually stuck. Before Connor, Kevin hadn’t cared much for church, had avoided the subject as much as possible. 

 

Elder Pop-Tarts (still a ridiculous name) retreated with another wink and returned to holding out books to strangers. 

 

„I prayed to Heavenly Father that I’d see you again.“ Connor confessed. 

Kevin‘s heart skipped a beat. 

„I’m glad.“ He said dumbly. 

They stared at each other, anxiety gripping every inch of his skin. His knees felt wobbly and his hands were still shaking. 

 

„Would you like to go to a dance?“ Connor asked suddenly. „The church is hosting this event this weekend. 7PM. Anyone can come, member or not, it will be fun.“

 

Kevin hesitated. He remembered the dances from his teen years, mostly the awkwardly standing on the side, watching people dance with their friends, waiting for it to be late enough to go home. It was like a school dance but with more Jesus. Not terrible but not his favourite thing either. Besides, going there would mean running into people he’d avoided for years. 

On the other hand… Connor. 

 

„I will be there.“ The Elder added shyly. 

„I’ll think about it.“ Kevin heard himself say. „Maybe I’ll bring a friend.“ Maybe he could use Arnold as a human shield against people asking him why he hadn’t come to church in years. He and Nabalungi could be his bodyguards. 

 

Connor‘s face lit up. 

„Great! They’re really fun events, I promise! Not as church heavy as you might think.“

He pulled a small flyer from his pocket, holding it out to him. 

When Kevin took it, their hands lingered for a moment, just a subtle touch. 

Once again, it felt electric. 

There were small, faint freckles running down the pale wrists, speckled all the way over the elegant hands. He felt an overwhelming urge to run his fingers over them.

Lacing their fingers together like those cheesy couples on TV.

Kissing every knuckle. 

He blushed.

 

Connor noticed him staring and pulled his hands back self-consciously, burying them in his coat pockets. 

“”Looks ridiculous, I know. They show up even more extremely when its gray and rainy like this. Not that I tan much in summer.” 

“No, they’re beautiful.” Kevin said without thinking. “My grandma used to say you can make a wish on each one. You just have more free wishes.” 

“You really believe that?”

“I don’t know. Let me try.” He gently tapped a single freckle on the other man’s cheek, his hand lingering just a second but long enough to make him blush. 

The image of Connor’s fingers interlaced with his and his head resting on Kevin’s shoulder flashed through his mind. 

_ Please let us have a chance.  _ He found himself thinking.

 

“What did you wish for?” Connor breathed.

“I can’t tell you, it won’t come true.”

“Will you let me know if it does?” 

“Sure.”

 

His heart was fluttering madly. Arnold was right. He’d had crushes before but never like this. This felt overwhelming, exciting, terrifying but most of all it felt  _ right _ . 

Kevin wondered if this was how his friend felt with Naba. He made a mental note to ask him. 

 

“Hi, sorry, could I take a look at those books?” A young woman approached them, tearing them out of their awkward staring contest. 

Elder McKinley’s eyes darted back and forth between her and Kevin. 

“Sure, I just need a second-”

“Oh it’s okay, you go and save those souls!” Kevin smiled. “I’ll see you at that dance.”

He said goodbye to Pop-Tarts and made his way back home, his mind racing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally took the freckle thing from another fic I read but I cannot remember which one it was, I'm sorry
> 
> Edit: It's from Saints of a Different Kind, thanks for reminding me!


	3. dancing under the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arnold is a terrible bodyguard but Pop Tarts is the best wingman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was inspired by the time I actually went to a dance event hosted by the LDS church and let me tell you, it's surreal  
> they all get high on Jesus, no joke

Nabulungi jumped up and down in excitement, her long braids whipping around her.

She’d been fussing over the dance ever since Kevin had asked her and Arnold to go with him, not an hour would pass without her asking what she should wear, how she should dance and if she should memorize important psalms just in case.

“I have never been to an American Party before!” She reminded them gleefully. “I hope they have those red cups from TV!”

 

Arnold was practically floating next to her, his face glowing with pride and affection as he kept reassuring his girlfriend that everyone would welcome her with open arms.

He’d tried his best to tame his curly hair and wore a bow tie that matched Naba’s dress.

At first he’d been skeptical about the whole plan, big social events weren’t usually his thing, but the man would probably go to hell and back if Nabulungi asked him to.

 

The closer they’d gotten to the night of the dance, the more Kevin had regretted saying yes. Too many variables. Too much could go wrong.

He feared the judging looks and arched eyebrows from people who used to sit next to him at church. Most of all, he feared getting his heart broken by a man he barely knew.

 

As they approached the large building, he was nervously fumbling at the buttons of his shirt, wondering if he should’ve worn a tie after all. He felt naked and exposed.

 

Two Sisters welcomed them at the door and pointed them towards gym-turned-ballroom.

It was already filled with people, most of them dressed surprisingly casual, chatting and laughing.

A rookie DJ was jumping around on the stage, playing early 2000s pop music, and a couple of younger kids tried to disco-fox along.

All around them were shouts of “Hey you!” and “It’s been so long!” as people hugged and shook hands like reuniting families at an airport.

 

Nabulungi squealed excitedly, trying to drag Arnold unto the dance floor.

Kevin scanned the room, his heart skipping a beat at every shirt-and-tie combination.

Trying hard not to be disappointed, he followed his friends to the buffet, eyes constantly searching the faces in the crowd.

 

He’d said he’d come. Maybe they got held up. Maybe they were still needed for some preparation or organization.

 

“You people really like to put things in spray cans.” Naba held up a can of spray cheese with the wonder of a child.

“You haven’t seen the worst of it yet.” Kevin commented. “There’s rich people who spray fake dirt on their SUVs to make it look like they’d been driving off-road.”

They settled on a table, watching the room fill up with people as they ate.

Arnold explained how people came from quite far away for these events, how a lot of them knew each other from other church activities, and that the dance was just a small part of a whole weekend. He’d been to these weekends almost regularly as a kid but stopped going when he realized the other kids didn’t like having him around much.

It broke Kevin’s heart to hear how alone his friend had been before they’d become roommates.

Sure, Arnold was … something else, with his nerdiness and his loud attitude, and he got overly clingy really fast. But he was kind, and funny and the most loyal friend he had ever had.

Clearly, Kevin was the only person with a good taste in companions.

 

When the average age of the people on the dancefloor rose higher than 15, Nabulungi refused to wait any longer and pulled Arnold into the flashing disco lights, leaving Kevin to awkwardly stand on the side, unsure what to do.

He was expected to ask girls for a dance, meet new people, make new friends.

It was basically just a very old-fashioned way of finding your future Good Christian Wife/Husband.

Only the only person he would even consider dancing with wasn’t here and even if he was, they would never be allowed to dance the way Arnold and Naba did.

 

“Kevin Price?”

 

Kevin whipped around, his chest tightening.

A guy roughly his age beamed at him. The name tag read Elder Grant.

_I know his face, I know his face., shit what’s his first name._

“Uh, hi …. Elder!” He tried awkwardly.

The man laughed.

“Man that title is gonna take some getting used to. I can’t wait though! Going to Germany in two days! Can you believe it? Me, out there, teaching people about Christ!”

Kevin had no idea if he was supposed to be surprised.

“Yeah, uh, that’s great! You’ll …. do a lot of good!”

_Where the fuck is Arnold??_

“I haven’t seen you in church for a while, did you spend time abroad or something?”

Elder Grant asked the dreaded question, an edge in his voice that made Kevin flinch.

“Something like that…” His bodyguards were useless and he regretted everything.

 

“You came!” The gentle voice of an angel sounded came to his rescue. “Excuse us, Elder!” Connor grabbed Kevin by the wrist and dragged him to the chocolate fountain, where his companion was already in conversation with two Sisters.

 

“Thank you.” Kevin breathed.

“You looked like you were expecting him to stab you.” Connor chuckled. “What did he say to you?” Something about the way he ate the chocolate-covered fruit made Kevin wish he was a strawberry. He frowned at his own thoughts.

“I think he remembered me from church… ages ago. Was asking why I stopped showing up.” He sighed and fumbled with the cuffs of his shirt, wishing he’d have a tie to run through his fingers.

“You never told me you’re an ex-member.” Connor said gently. “I wouldn’t have asked you to come.”

Kevin’s heart skipped a beat.

“Oh no no no, I didn’t mean it like that!” The Elder said quickly. “I meant, I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay. You’re here.”

The music had gotten louder as more and more people filled the dance floor. It felt awkward to shout over Britney Spears’ “Toxic” with a conversation so tender and personal.

 

Connor glanced at his Pop-Tarts, who met his eyes and nodded as if they’d had some secret psychic conversation.

“Let’s go outside where it’s a little quieter!”

Arnold and Naba were clumsily dancing amidst the weirdly escalated crowd of young adults, so lost in each other it was unlikely they’d miss him anytime soon.

 

The air outside was cool but bearable, the music still clear but definitely less painful on the ears. Kevin wondered if anyone would call the cops on a church for partying too hard. That would certainly be an interesting phone call.

 

“You guys don’t mind me, I’ll stand guard.” Elder Pop-Tarts smiled, casually leaning against the doorframe.

 

“Stand guard?” Kevin asked Connor as he led them to an open space between parked cars and trees.

“We’re technically bending the rules a bit today.” He held out his hand. “Can I have this dance?”

The touch felt like a million bolts of lightning rushing through Kevin’s veins.

His head was light and cloudy, his heart beating wildly.

Connor was leading, definitely more practiced in dancing that Kevin was, guiding him through the steps.

He fought the strong urge to go full teen movie and embrace him for the kind of cuddly slow dance he’d been secretly dreaming of. This was more than enough.

Dancing. With Connor.

That had to mean something, right?

Straight men don’t just run off to a parking lot to dance to Ed Sheeran songs in the moonlight.

 

“Back in Uganda, I used to stand guard for him and his boyfriend. Elder James Church. He joined the district a few months after us, became our third Companion since he didnt have one for himself and they got really close until they couldn't fight their feelings for each other any longer.” Connor said softly. “At first I judged them for being so weak, giving in to their sinful thoughts. But I love Pop-Tarts like a brother and I couldn't stand seeing him unhappy. So encouraged them to give it a shot. They were terrified the other Elders would find out. I was district leader, so it was easy for me to keep them busy while the two of them got some privacy. Never understood why they’d risk exposure like that, just to hold hands and talk. Not to mention all the rules we were breaking.” He spun Kevin around gracefully. “But then I met you. Now I understand.”

Kevin’s heart jumped in his chest. _Did he really just say that?_

“That is … kinda beautiful. In a tragic way.” He mumbled awkwardly.

 

“Before my mission, I always thought I could just turn off all my feelings. Crush it all down.” Connor’s voice was steady and he was still smiling, but it was a bittersweet smile that made Kevin’s heart ache. “I could’ve pretended not to be who I was, married a good mormon woman, had a few children. My parents would’ve been so proud. That was the plan.” He let out a small, huffed laugh. “Terribly ironic how all that changed once I started serving. But Elder Thomas was so happy. So sure that God loved him the way he was. So full of hope and dreams for a better future.”

He led them through another series of spins.

“Well, and then I saw all the terrible things happening in this world, all that brutality and hatred and sickness. And I thought maybe loving another man is not the worst sin one can commit.”

 

Instinctively, Kevin ran his thumb over Connor’s back where his hand was firmly placed for the dancing and held his hand even tighter. He didn’t know what to say to such vulnerability and honesty.

“I thought I didn’t have to act on the part of me that liked guys.” He mumbled. “I liked girls just as much. Thought it would make my life much easier to just ignore the rest. And I did, for so long, I lied to myself and everyone else about who I was.”

The next song came on, this time faster than the other, making them stumble clumsily until they fell back into their rhythm.

“The more I questioned the church as I got older though, the more I felt the need to be myself. I moved away from home at 17, stopped going to church, got a job and met Arnold. And he was the kindest most open person I have ever met. I told him I liked men and he was so supportive and it felt so right? So I kinda tried it out, being more open, telling people, flirting with guys. I just decided to be myself and let people know the truth about me.”

“I’m glad you did.” Connor said softly. “It’s a good truth.”

 

They danced through the abandoned parking lot in quiet for a while, spinning and jumping and laughing. Elder Pop-Tarts was gave them the occasional reassuring smile, but mostly he averted his eyes, gazing at the stars or watching whatever was going on on the other side of the door.

 

“Are they still together? Elder Thomas and Elder Church?” Kevin asked as they slowed down again, catching their breath.

“Unofficially Officially.” Connor smiled. “Elder Church was sent to Huston but they stay in touch. They’ll probably move together once his mission ends, he still has half a year to go though.”

He gave another warm, grateful glance at his companion. It was like the two of them had a connection no one else would ever understand, one that was strong enough for them to communicate through looks and thoughts alone.

Kevin wondered if he was like that with Arnold and just hadn’t noticed it.

 

“I kinda wanna ask,” Kevin said carefully, “how do you guys still. make all of that work? Still teaching and serving, while you bend the rules and question things. Thought missionaries had to believe in everything completely.”

“Most do.” The Elder said simply. “And like I said, I did, too, and then I grew and changed, I had to, with everything we’ve seen and been through.” He led them through another series of spins that ended with both of them pressed closely together. They stopped dancing. “I believe in what I was taught and what I am teaching. I’ve seen this church do amazing things for people, witnessed how much we actually helped in that village. I want to offer that to people, give them a chance to learn, if they’re willing to.” He smiled shyly. “I have accepted that I am flawed, it is part of being human. Heavenly Father will love me either way.”

 

Kevin admired and envied the complete openness in the other man’s eyes.

Filled with warmth and vulnerability and faith.

He lowered his arms and took Connor’s hands into his, their fingers lacing together.

A shudder ran down his spine and his body felt shaky and dizzy. He’d had no idea that such a small gesture could feel so intimate and wonderful. Like through the warmth of the vulnerable, soft skin he could reach out right into the other man’s soul.

 

“I really like you, Kevin Price.” Connor breathed, running his thumb over Kevin’s knuckles. “I would love to get to know you better.”

His words sent a million shockwaves through Kevin’s body, his heart felt like it was doing loopings in his chest.

“I would love that! I mean, I - uh - I really like you too. Connor McKinley.” He stuttered.

_I can’t believe this is happening. Did he really just say that? Did I really just say that?_

The air felt like it was quivering, the gentle contact of skin on skin burned fiercely in the most beautiful way and -

 

“Oh Sisters! Getting some fresh air as well?” Elder Pop-Tarts announced loudly, making the two men jump apart. “Oh don’t worry, Elder McKinley is just over there, a guest wasn’t feeling well and he helped him, kind soul that he is.”

Kevin didn’t need much acting talent to act sick, the whirl of emotions in him made him feel dizzy enough already. He half leaned on Connor for support.

 

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” One of the Sisters asked, her pretty face shadowed my immediate worry.

“Could you find my friend Arnold and tell him I’m going home?” He mumbled. “He’s the fat one with the glasses.”

The girl visibly cringed at the description but nodded and the two of them disappeared back inside.

 

“I’m sorry to interrupt your moment. But we have to get going soon anyway, we don’t wanna break curfew.” The Elder said gently.

“Thank you, Elder.” Connor said softly. He turned to Kevin with a rueful smile. “I’ll talk to you over facebook. It’s only a few weeks until my mission ends. We could pick up where we left off?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, kinda twisting around the rules for how the Missions actually work, I have met Elders that were a trio of companions instead of a pair, so that's possible but I'm not sure they ever stay in the same location that long  
> but yknow  
> plot  
> I guess


	4. gay angst and romantic gestures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory angsty hurt/comfort chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this will be a bit angsty  
> Warning for mentions of past self-harm, referenced homophobia, some discussion of religious beliefs  
> Y'all know the drill

The weeks passed painfully slowly. 

Every day at work, Kevin hoped to see them come back for their coffee and chocolate. 

Every couple of minutes he stared at his phone, praying for another message to pop up on the screen.

Every evening, when Connor found the time, they managed to chat in-between whatever other work he was doing at the moment. 

 

Kevin found out that Connor had a younger brother and an older sister, that his dad was a pharmacist, that Connor loved teaching people so much he was thinking about becoming a teacher. 

 

> I would be the good kind of teacher, you know? The kind that cares about his students and guides them and is there for them.
> 
>  

They talked about their dreams for the future, like Kevin’s goal to have an entire library for himself and Connor’s hope that he could stand on top of the Eiffel Tower one day. 

Talking to Connor was easy. Opening up to him, being vulnerable and honest, after all these years he’d been hiding and lying. 

 

Arnold and Nabulungi became his own personal cheer squad, listening to him go on and on about their conversations and how much they had in common and all the things they could do once they were allowed to hang out. 

Arnold spent a whole evening trying out shipnames, until he finally settled on  _ McPricely _ . 

“You know, in case your epic lovestory is turned into a movie, I wanna be the first to make fanarts and sell merch!” 

 

They were all hanging out in their tiny living room one evening, Naba had basically moved in with them at this point, there was no denying it, when Kevin got the phone call. 

 

“Hey, Chris Thomas here. Elder Pop-Tarts?” The voice sounded gloomy and serious. “I'm very sorry for calling you like this but I need your help. It’s about Connor.”

Kevin’s heart started racing, his chest tightening. He jumped to his feet. 

“What happened?”

“The computers we use to stay in contact with people, you know facebook and so on, they’re church property and they are shared with other members. He forgot to log out and someone saw the conversation between you. They expelled us both from our mission.”

“What? But - Nothing in there was ever explicit!” 

“It wasn’t directly flirty, I know, but it wasn’t spiritual guidance or teaching either. And you guys mentioned your dancing and your conversations in the coffeeshop…. As his companion it would’ve been my duty to keep him from breaking rules and I didn’t.”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry!” Kevin’s head was spinning.

“Don’t worry about that right now. Connor’s parents freaked out, they threatened to send him to conversation therapy. He’s been locked in his room all day and he won’t talked to me, I don’t know what to do. You’re not an active member of the church, he trusts you, please you have to talk to him! I’m scared he’ll hurt himself again.” 

Chris’ voice broke with emotion.

“Of course, I’ll be there right there!” 

 

Kevin grabbed his bike and raced to the apartment complex as fast as he could, his head still spinning with fear and guilt.

He reached the men’s living quarters in record time, Chris Thomas already waiting outside. 

“He locked the door and won’t open it for anyone, I don’t know what to do.” His eyes were filled with tears, his neat suit and short hair dishevelled. 

“Which one is your apartment?”

“The one with too many plants.” Chris pointed at a balcony on the first floor that was indeed very green. “His room is right behind there and he insisted he needed the green outside his window.”

The most stupid and reckless and painfully cliche idea sparked in Kevin’s head. 

He eyed the large trees that were growing next to the building and calculated the realistic risk of him breaking his neck.

Then he decided he was definitely stupid enough to try his luck.

 

Taking a deep breath, Kevin jumped at the branches, pulling himself up one by one.

The bark was damp and felt disgusting under his palms and the moss stained his pants, but he kept going.

“You know we have a staircase and an elevator???” The voice shouted from below him. 

 

As a kid, Kevin had practically lived in the trees and on the rooftops of his hometown. 

He’d loved being up high, like a cat, away from all the worries and the people and the noise. 

Only back then, his body had been way smaller and lighter and more nimble. 

His muscles ached and his lungs were screaming by the time he crawled over the ledge to drop between the potted plants.

He approached the window and knocked gently.

 

Connor’s silhouette was just barely visible in the furthest corner of the room, curled up with his head resting against the wall. 

He turned around in surprise. 

He looked awful. Kevin’s heart broke for him. 

 

With a look of deep confusion on his reddened face, Connor approached the glas door and slid it open.

“What the hell are you doing here?” His eyes widened in shock as he saw the green stains covering the other man’s clothes. “Oh my god, Kevin, did you climb up here? You could’ve killed yourself, you reckless idiot!”

“Oh sure, I’m making grand romantic gestures and you yell at me, that’s fine, go ahead.” 

Kevin pushed past him and sat down on the bed, glancing up at Connor. 

 

“Chris told me what happened. He asked me to come over and stop you from hurting yourself.”

Something flashed over Connor’s face. He dropped on the covers next to him with a sigh. 

“Oh goodness, no. I don’t do that anymore, I have it under control. I didn’t mean to scare him.”

Kevin felt the strong urge to pull him against his chest and shield him from the cruelty and unfairness of the world, but he wasn’t sure if Connor wanted to be touched. 

“He cares about you. So do I. You’re not alone in this.” He held out his hand as a quiet offer. 

Connor stared at it. 

“I don’t know what to do. Where to go. My family they- I can’t do this. I’m so lost.” 

“Well… Arnold and I wanted to find a new place anyway. Nabulungi’s been over so much lately, she might as well move in with us. I’m sure we could find an extra room for you.” 

Connor furrowed his brows and shook his head. “Without my parents I have no access to my money and I don’t have a job and ... “

”That’s okay. We can handle that.”

“You’ve only known me for three weeks, we’re not even dating!”

“I don’t care.” Kevin said determently. “Right now you’re a human being and you’re scared and you need help. What kind of person would I be to leave you alone with that? Let me offer you food and shelter, let me be there for you, please.” He grinned slightly. “It’s what Jesus would’ve wanted.” 

 

Connor’s hand was visibly shaking as he reached out to curl his fingers around Kevin’s.

Then he tumbled forward into the embrace, sobbing quietly. 

Kevin ran his free hand over his back and nuzzled his head into the soft hair. 

“It’s gonna be okay.” He whispered gently. “We’re here for you.”

He didn’t know how long they sat, his shirt soaking with tears, his back starting to ache from supporting the extra weight leaned against him. 

He didn’t care. 

 

When the shaking and sobbing had died down, Kevin tightened his embrace and pressed a gently, shy kiss to Connor’s forehead. 

Connor let out a small laugh. 

Kevin’s chest fluttered.

He lifted their hands, fingers still interlaced tightly, and kissed each knuckle, then the back of Connor’s hand. 

“Well, this is not how I imagined that wish would come true.” He said hoarsely.

Connor lifted his head, his eyes were puffy and his hair was sticking all over the place, but he was smiling.

“Wanna know my wish?” He breathed and leaned in, brushing his lips against Kevin’s. 

It sent his heart into overdrive, his whole body felt like it was burning. 

He kissed him back, gently but firm, his free hand wandering to brush over Connor’s cheeks. 

It wasn’t the heated, passionate type of make out he’d imagined so many times in the privacy of his own mind. It was so much better.

Honest and gentle and warm. Vulnerable. 

 

They pressed their foreheads together, lost in the quiet moment of careful touch and wordless understanding. 

 

A careful knock on the door tore them out of their thoughts. 

“Connor? Is everything okay?” Chris’ muffled voice sounded through the door.

Connor pressed another quick kiss to Kevin’s forehead, before getting up and opening the door for his concerned friend. 

 

He pulled him into a tight hug.

“Thank you.” Kevin heard Connor whisper. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay, Connor, I was so worried about you!”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for scaring you and I’m sorry for ruining our mission..”

“You didn’t ruin anything. I don’t care what the mission president says, we made a difference, we helped people, we were always honest and kind. Nothing about that is was failure.” Chris said, releasing his friend from the embrace. “You’re my best friend, Connor, whatever the rules say, you’ll always be my highest priority. I love you.” 

He ruffled the already messy red hair affectionately. 

“I know. Love you too.” Connor laughed softly. 

“Good. Now go take a shower, you look like a hot mess.” 

 

He grabbed a few clean clothes from the neatly sorted drawers and handed them to his companion, sending him off to the bathroom.

 

“Thank you for your help.” Chris said with a sigh of relief. “Though I’m really not sure it was necessary for you to climb a tree….?” 

“Go big or go home.” Kevin shrugged. “I’m sorry I got you both into this situation in the first place. If I’d just kept my distance-”

“They would’ve found something else, sooner or later. Why do you think they send us both to the least successful district they could find? And they let me stay with him all this time without switching companions? They were hoping to break us, to cure us, or watch us fail and make a negative example of us. Satan has taken a hold of our hearts and we were simply not strong enough to fight him. Be a good mormon kid and read your scriptures.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m surprised we came as far as we did.”

He gave Kevin a warm smile. “Besides, I’ve never seen Connor happier. You gave him hope that things could be better.”

 

Kevin blushed, his chest filled with warmth. “How did your family take all this in?” 

“It wasn’t great. But it will be okay. Mum and Dad aren’t speaking to me. They’ll need time. But my aunt and my grandma called, they wanted me to know they love and support me and I can stay with them until things are sorted out. And once James gets back from his mission, who knows, maybe we can start a live together.”

“I hope it all works out for you.”

“Thanks.” 

 

Silence fell over the room, only the faint noise of the city outside the still opened glass door and the muffled running water from the bathroom filling the air. 

Kevin glanced across the room, taking in the details of the place Connor had made his home. Piles of paperwork neatly organized and marked with multi-coloured post-its copies of the Book of Mormon in various languages. 

Leather-bound, leaf-gold-decorated Holy Bible in between several other church approved literature.

It didn’t look very personal. Aside from the framed pictures of people in elegant, neat clothing (judging by the very pale skin and reddish hair it was Connor’s family), there wasn’t much that showed who he was as a person.

Something else caught Kevin’s eye, making his heart jump in his chest. 

Two coffee-to-go mugs, cleaned out and used to hold a few plastic flowers, both marked with Connor’s name in Kevin’s own tidy handwriting.

_ He kept them. _

The one silly little thing that was proof of their paths crossing. 

Mediocre hot chocolate in cheap paper mugs.

 

The water in the bathroom got turned off. Everything instantly seemed even quieter. And more awkward.

“What about your family?” Chris asked into the silence. “Do they know…?”

“I came out to them after I’d left home.” Kevin answered quietly. “At first they weren’t talking to me, then they put it down as a phase, then they ignored it, but by now I think they’re mostly okay with it? I know they’ll love and support me no matter what.”

“That’s good. Connor needs a family. He likes to act all independent and carefree but he is a real softie.” 

"Yeah I kinda got that impression." Kevin smiled. "He's really special. He deserves so much more."

"He does. I'm sure he'll find it." Chris grinned.  “Just a lil tip, Connor loves stargazing and Disney movies and he will kill over good cinnamon rolls or pancakes.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Elder Pop-Tarts so much, dont @ me


	5. wholesome fluffy epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lots of cheesy fluffiness and a somewhat steamy make-out?

“This is gonna be INCREDIBLE!” Arnold yelled gleefully as he stepped back to admire his work. 

The IKEA shelf in their living room was now neatly organized by fandom, all books, DVDs and figurines put up like a beautiful display of their collected nerdiness. 

Arnold’s Star Wars stuff took up considerably more room than the Disney and Broadway Musical related parts and Nabulungi had only needed two squares for her own things, but it still looked like a brilliant representation of the people that shared this living space.

Kevin looked around the room approvingly. 

 

Their new apartment gave each of them a little less individual space, since their own rooms were smaller than they were used to, but he liked that the shared space was much larger and brighter. 

He still felt that nervous tingling in his stomach everytime he thought about how much his life could potentially change now, but it was a good type of nervosity.

 

The sound of the doorbell made him jump.

“I’ll go!!” Naba screamed excitedly and bounced off. She’d been the most excited out of all of them to properly meet their new roommate and throw a mini housewarming party for them all. 

 

“You okay, buddy? You look like you’re gonna faint.” Arnold asked carefully, placing a hand on Kevin’s shoulder.

He leaned into the steadying touch. Despite the general high-energy-ness and almost child-like attitude, something about his friend was always reassuring. Maybe it was knowing that no matter how weird, awkward or scary things got, Arnold’s endless positivity would always get them out of it.

 

“I’m hella nervous.” He confessed. “But it’ll be fine.”

 

The front door opened and Naba bounced in.    
“LOOK AROUND isn’t it beautiful?!” She spun around and gestured towards the collective geekiness of the room. “This is gonna be the bestest home ever!” 

Arnold chuckled softly. “God, I love her so much.” He caught the energetic girl in his arms as she spun towards him and pressed a kiss to her cheek. 

 

The other boys awkwardly padded into their living room. 

Chris was eyeing the room, nodding approvingly at their DVD collection and Vinyl Pop figures, but Connor walked straight towards Kevin, smiling shyly. 

 

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Welcome to your new home.”

“Thanks… It looks great.” 

 

Connor bit his lip like he was considering saying more, then determination set on his face and he launched forward, wrapping his arms around Kevin, head buried against his chest.

“Thank you for taking me in.” He mumbled.

Affection bubbled in Kevin’s stomach as he hugged him back, one hand curling around the soft red hair. “Of course. I’m glad you’re here.” He pressed a gentle kiss against his forehead.

 

“You guys are too wholesome, get out of my face!” Chris laughed kindly. “Go and show Connor his room, we’ll get his stuff.” He winked. Kevin realized the guy did a lot of winking. It was a bit irritating. 

“That’s his not-so-subtle way of letting me know I should make out with you.” Connor whispered. 

Kevin felt shaky all over. “Well, uh, let me show you your room then?” He said, taking him by the hand to guide him the three steps it took to get into the bedroom. 

His heart was racing and it took his strongest effort to keep his breath from getting shaky. 

 

“It’s not much but we tried to make it a home.” He said, closing the door behind them.

The bedroom was small but the ceiling was high enough for large shelves. 

Kevin had spent a whole day gathering up books and DVDs from second-hand stores to fill them up with, anything that he thought Connor might like (Pop Tarts had helped). 

They’d gotten pictures from his social media to print out and frame, and Kevin had added the final touch with a few stuffed animals on the bed and desk. 

The rest would have to be filled with whatever they managed to get from Connor’s parents once they finally answered their phone calls. 

“It’s beautiful.” He said, tears glistening in his eyes. “I really, really love it.”

 

He sat down on the bed and held out his hands to pull Kevin towards him. 

They clumsily fell down on the sheets together, arms and legs tangling.

All the anxiety and awkward tension fell away. 

This was home. 

 

Connor’s eyes were soft and honest as his face hovered only a few inches above Kevin’s. 

He ran his fingertips through his hair, twisting the soft brown strands around his index finger. 

“Do you believe in fate?” His voice was less than a whisper. “That our paths are led to some people for a reason?”

“I’m starting to.” Kevin answered. He cupped Connor’s face into his hands and pulled him in to kiss him. 

It was new and exciting and wonderful, but it also felt like the most natural thing on earth. Like the only thing he’d ever done was kissing Connor. Like there was nothing he would ever need, no food or water or oxygen. 

Just him.

 

“Would it be awkward to ask if this means we’re dating now?” The redhead whispered.

Kevin chuckled and kissed his nose. “Probably.” He leaned his forehead against Connor’s, looking deeply into his eyes. It was hard not to believe in some sort of God when he was staring at the most beautiful shade of blue he had ever seen. He felt like he could see right into the other man’s soul.

“Well, will you be my boyfriend, Connor McKinley?” 

“There is nothing I’d love more, Kevin Price.”

 

Their lips locked again, more fiercely than before, exploring each other’s mouths with growing confidence. 

Tentatively, Kevin slid his hand under the soft fabric of Connor’s shirt, running his fingers over his back. The sensation of warm, naked skin made his stomach flutter. 

Connor let out a small moan against his lips and let his own hand wander under Kevin’s shirt. The slim fingers spread out over his chest, his palm pressed firmly over Kevin’s heart as if he wanted to claim it as his own. 

His other hand was still curled firmly into the messy brown hair, tugging at it as his lips wandered along Kevin’s jaw and neck. 

Kevin couldn’t hold back his small gasps and moans. His head felt dizzy and cloudy. 

 

Most of all, the overwhelming sense of intimacy and trust made his heart ache with affection. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Kevin said softly when they were catching their breaths, tracing the lines of freckles from Connor’s cheeks down his neck to his chest. He cocked his head to the side and pushed up the hem of Connor’s shirt just enough to see even more soft speckles on the pale skin. He leaned down and kissed the exposed skin. 

Connor giggled. “I can take it off. If you want.” He blushed shyly as Kevin nodded and pulled the shirt over his head, revealing his skinny torso. 

It was the most beautiful sight Kevin had ever seen. He ran his palm over the flat chest in wonder.

“No one’s ever called me that.” Connor said. “Beautiful.”

“Then I will remind you every day.” Kevin promised.

 

He lost his own shirt before pulling his boyfriend back into a kiss, surprised and fascinated by how close he felt to him, their half-naked bodies closely pressed together, their breathing synching up as their whole bodies seemed to fall into the same rhythm.

 

They stayed tangled on Connor’s bed, kissing and touching and whispering words of affection, for probably just a little too long, until Arnold knocked on the door to politely remind them that Naba’s parents would be coming soon and they might want to take a little break. 

Lips swollen, faces flushed and clothes helplessly dishevelled, they let go of each other and crawled out of bed. 

“I’ll go get changed.” Kevin chuckled and pressed one last kiss on Connor’s hair. 

 

When he opened the door, the others were beaming at them like their very own team of cheerleaders.

“AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES!” Arnold yelled excitedly.

“Ohmygod they were roommates.” Chris added.

“I hate you guys.” Kevin said and fled to his own room, not even trying to hide his grin.

 

***

 

By the time Mafala Hatimbi and his husband showed up with baskets full of food, the boys had gotten dressed and fixed their hair. 

Nabulungi spent the first 30 minutes of their housewarming party explaining every single detail of their interior design choices, while Arnold watched her with the most endearing expression.

Kevin knew Naba had grown up in small huts with the bare minimum, he could see how she would be excited by every IKEA shelf and second-hand lamp she could call her own. It was very heartwarming to watch.

 

“We are very happy that you have such a wonderful new home, Nabulungi.” Gotswana chuckled. “Just don’t forget to visit us from time to time. We may not have a limited edition lightsaber on the wall, but you will always have a place to stay with us.” 

“Of course I will come to visit all the time, baba!” She launched into a hug with both of them. “Home is not a place, it is where we are with people who care about us!” 

The girl explained, beaming at the group. “Like we will be home for Connor and for Chris and for anyone who needs it.”

 

“Oh, I’m not moving in, don’t worry.” Chris smiled. “But I appreciate the offer.”

“You better come to visit us, Christopher Thomas, or I’ll tell James about that dream you had of him after the first time you saw him.” Connor threatened, but his former mission-brother shook his head. 

“Joke’s on you, *I* told him about that and *he* thought it was adorable!” He stuck out his tongue. “But I promise you won’t get rid of me.” 

 

“This is the most wholesome family ever!” Arnold whined. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in a room with more special gay energy, it’s beautiful.”

“You will soon find out,” Mafala said wisely, “us queer people always come in packs. We find people of our own kind. Like very fabulous lions.” 

“I would start questioning your own preferences now if I were you, Arnie.” Kevin joked, causing Arnold’s face to set into a very concentrated expression.

 

“Okay then.” Nabulungi grinned and lifted rose her glass. “To our new, big family?”

The others followed her lead in a blur of smiling faces and clattering glass.

This was a new beginning for all of them and they couldn’t wait to see where their journey would lead them next.

 

***

 

Quiet had set over the apartment after Chris and Naba’s dads left, Arnold and Nabulungi had disappeared into a bedroom and only the two of them were left, sprawled out on the couch, their fingers interlaced.

Kevin’s head rested on Connor’s chest, rising and falling slowly with his boyfriend’s breathing. He could hear his heart beat.

He couldn’t remember ever feeling this happy and at peace.

 

“Connor?” 

“Yes?” 

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Kev.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am super tempted to write a domestic bliss fic for all of them now  
> I can't stop writing for this fandom, help me

**Author's Note:**

> i apologize if you found any errors, i wrote most of this in the deepest night   
> like i always do  
> i dont sleep a lot  
> help


End file.
